


Turn Around

by Gigi



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-04
Updated: 2011-11-04
Packaged: 2017-10-25 16:44:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/272501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gigi/pseuds/Gigi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He waits for her to see him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Turn Around

Turn around.

It's funny slayer even now as I watch you, I still want you. I still need you more then I could ever dream of. Why is this? Why do you have this power over me? The only other person who ever did was my sweet Dru, I know you would disagree. You've always disagreed with me. Even when you knew I was right. How many times was that?

Turn around.

I know your face, I know your body, every inch. The way you pout when you think no one else is watching you. The way your eyes go stronger when anyone says Angel's name. Even if it is just the word 'angel.' You wont let yourself fall again you, wont let yourself hurt that badly again. Is that why you never really let anyone else in? Do I remind you of him? There are so many differences between my grand-sire and I . I could point them all out but you wouldn't believe me. You wouldn't want me to even try. I stole my soul back for you.

Turn around.

I was your dirty little secret. Did you enjoy keeping it? Were you scared that they would find out? The look on Xander's face? The fear in Red's heart? Or the pain in the Watcher's expression, the words he would never speak? Why did you care? Wouldn't they want you to be happy? Wouldn't it be better if you gave yourself to someone all the way? No, I don't mean sex. Even if you are a hot little fuck. Even if every time we made love I worried it would be last. When would you stop coming me? When would I finely see that I was being used. I knew I was being used. I was your dildo. Your punching bag. The shoulder you cried on and the holder of all dirty secrets that you would allow no one else to know. Like me. I was one you wanted hidden. How happy I was. I wanted it all. Because it meant I was near to you. It meant I was a part of you. A part of your life.

Turn around.

No matter what I do. No matter who I save, I live in his shadow. Always for you, all these things I do. Even when I wanted to hurt you, even when I was soul-less and blood thirsty. You were first in my thoughts, first in my deeds. Hurting you, seeing you express feelings of any kind towards me gave me some kind of thrill. Because I was getting under your skin. We never found the strength to kill one another. We never found the strength to walk away either.

Turn around.

I have watched you die before me, thrown from the sky down to earth. Some part of me was great full because now I would be free, I would be able to live my un-life in peace. I couldn't. There was Dawn. She needed someone to keep her safe. Yes, I know she had Willow, Xander, and Anya. Yet, I couldn't trust her life to them. She was the last part of you, she was the last in the Summers' line. How strong the Summers women are. You're mother was a saint. Your sister dear to me, in fact if I had been the same evil vampire I was before I stole my soul back. I would of turned her after you died. Because it would have been the only way to keep her safe in my eyes. However you came back. You walked right back in to my life. It sicken me how happy I was. It sicken me how I wanted to hold you in my arms, you'd never let me.

Turn around.

This is our last battle, this is the last time I will ever see your face. Your fingers on my skin, your eyes soft with worry. But its not for me. You know I have to do. It's around my neck my death. I heard your lie. I heard it as you spoke. You love me. Did you know what I would of given to hear that any other time but now? Are you feeling guilty? Don't be, this is where I would of ended up some how even if I didn't love you. I always did get in the middle of some strange shit. But you said you loved me. It helped. Because I had to believe that some part of you did. Don't stand next to me.

Turn around.

Leave me to this, let me save you, save the world one last time. It's rush, feeling power run through me. We'll meet again. I 'll see you again. I am tired to you, my soul to yours. Bad poems again. Screams. I can hear myself screaming, yelling, did I cry out your name as my final death took me? Did I slayer? Did you hear me and wonder about going back to save me.

Don't.

Just don't.

Turn around.


End file.
